Bird in a cage

E

very morning  they wake me up, they never needed a battery or tuning up yet they sang the best of tunes and a new one every time. Sometimes I used to wait for my alarm to sing, wait with my eyes wide  open fixed upon the windows that over look the massive trees. They were my little feathered friends, ever hungry and ever trying to be the early bird. There chirping's wake me up every day. An hour of their songs makes my day.

                One morning I woke up with their songs filled with terror and sorrow, for they were no songs but helpless plea of my little friends. I ran to my window and “timber” was he sound I heard and the crashing of the  last massive fauna that stood. It was no more a tree, it’s a log now soon to be shredded into pieces of wood. I don’t know where my little friends went I never saw them again. I wake up every day throwing this irritating piece of metal which wakes me up every time with its ghostly alarm tone.

                Concrete jungle surrounds me now and I can’t hear a single song throughout the day. I’ve let down my little feathered friends along with those trees. Too late to realize “I’m a featherless bird in a concrete cage”

               

Insomnia

Where's my sleep? not able to find it, ain't anywhere near me for the past few days. here i'm one more night tat aint worth mentioning.going through my inbox.why did i sign in the first place? Thanks to spammers least they do mail me.
my play list has started boring me silence means more music to me nowadays. Whats the cause of all these? my over loaded routine? or had insomnia become my routine?keeping the questions apart im tired of answering them.going through my old mail's with one thing in mind, to while away this night, ya thats my only agenda now.
whoever made this program to save  chat conversations as mail must be a insomniac like me. a snap shot of my total stupidity for the last few years lies in front of me as mails. not intentionally but to be honestly true accepting the fact that my truthfulness is bounded to sillily things like this, i landed to those conversations, those moments i last spoke to her.
To this very time it was my belief "she ditched me" but it aint so. what went wrong between us was by me. My reluctant attitude, to practically everything. here lies the proof,  she begging me to talk a word, a 50 please from her to make me say a word. a 100 Love you for a smiley from me.Wish i could continiue the chat now but its too late.
I crawl back into my sleepless bed, waiting for a heavy eye i stay awake with a heavy heart.

Guns can bring silence, but not peace.
oceans can fill every lake and rivers, but cant quench  thirst.
All roads lead to Rome they say.
But not all roads leads to ones home.

My Mobile

oh when i hold,
have i ever told you?
you make me feel you are the one,
i hold you 2nd to none.
smiles and tears you fill my life,
lemme tell you this i love you more than my wife.
you show me the way,
tell me what people say.
I'll feed you power,
you leave me never.

Let's do it

cut those trees, burn those logs.
Dirty streets filled with dogs.
Girls Raped. lifes shaked.
Mother of law, her eyes all taped.
fill those lakes make new place,
make that water little more scarce.
Bribe the court, bribe the law,
thats not enough? bribe your God.
one more price hike? stop your bike,
its a crowed place lets hitch-hike.
one more protest?? its so fun.
lets go protest & loot our town.

24 Hours

I need to satisfy my boss a little more,
24 not enough.
i need to work a little more,
24 not enough.
i need to sleep a little more,
24 not enough.
i want the weekends a little longer,
24 not enough.
i want to feel her warmth a little more,
24 not enough.
Hanging in the hands of death,
i want to live a little more.
24 not enough.
24 A wrong number.

THe class

Time dilates,

Mind frustrates.

Distractions become interesting,

Subject becomes distraction.

Graffiti’s on desk,

Acting to be brisk.

Eyes all opened,

Mind totally closed.

Mobiles on silent,

Imaginations vibrant.

A silent commotion,

An invisible opposition.

When the class gets over its heaven,

We feel 1947.

God's own country

God’s own country – they call it as, less known to myself too that its mine also. The place where I belong to but more than a decade of zero contacts made me forget a lot of things about her. Just few dreamy incidents is what I can picture within me. Green and blue is what she symbolizes in every nook and cranny of hers. I received the tickets for my trip to kerala unlike other times I cant say a lame reason to avoid it and have to accompany mom. Bit excited to find out what’s new to be found in her. A wonderful opportunity to refresh my memories also keeping myself open to accept any change in what I’ve felt for her till now.

The agenda:

Questions ( I ask myself) and answers ( we’ll no one ever answered me so I do it myself)

Why am I here ?

On a pilgrimage.

Aim ?

To visit as many temples as possible in two days.

Limitations?

To use the most economic modes of transport.

Company?

My mom, Good( I don’t find any reasons why ); Bad she sleeps a lot and I can’t, I’m a insomniac .

Expectations?

Not too many , fine weather, bad food and lots of arguments with mom for sure.

Unexpected?

Funny why I ask myself this?

The journey:

We had anticipated the slow moving traffic of our town and the two hour journey to the station felt longer than the overnight journey t o kerala itself. The so called students making havoc at every signal was irritating me too much, all the noise just to get a few glimpses of those girls in the same slow moving vehicle.

Of all those things that which can turn a man into a poet, I stood in the only Man Made reason that has been able to change more people into poets or writers “the railway station”. The Brit’s legacy still stands tall and welcomes anyone who steps in this city where I dwell. Soon I found myself in the herculean task of selecting one book from the pile of favorites in a book shop. Half hearted I left the place with one book that’s gonna accompany me in my journey.

Things in the train were more ridiculous, and made me wonder where the actual authority lies. Here I was traveling with a bunch of guys actually 7 in number who were travelling in three tickets. The TTE was least bothered to check them or even penalize them. The night felt more longer as they looked more like robbers than passengers. While my mom had a splendid sleep I had to burn my midnight oil. It was not that we were carrying a fortune with us but something in me kept me awake. Even imagined situations of how to tackle 7 guys in an event of a robbery. I was awake the whole night for no reason and the moment my heavy eyes fell down it was the place I had to get down.

The touch down:

The place was still asleep when i got down from my train. The first sight I saw was a person carrying an idiot box which was distributed free all over T.N by the Ex-ruling party. Both the news and the free TV seems to have travelled places, soon to be in this state to speak Malayalam for the days to come I saw the TV being carried away, with a smile. The first thing I heard was a mobile phone singing a tamil song- long live tamil least in its neighboring states and countries. The bus stand just like the small town was asleep and we got into a bus which hardly had 10 people. The cool breeze and the misty air was a relief to my all smoked up lungs. I took deep breaths to try and clean up my lungs so that I can smoke a little more when I’m back in my place. But the chillness in the air was something which I’m not used to in my place. Hiding my shivers I try to enjoy the scenes which passed me by.

The mission:

The temple situated in a square plot , being bad in maths and the fact that I didn’t carry a measuring tape with me I cant give the data of how big the place is, I really wonder at few writers who give an accurate measurement of things do they carry a measuring tape? Or, do they Google the data? Or just the confidence that no one is going to check his data/ read his book? Neither did I carry a compass with me but thanks to the sign board, it let us know we were entering the west gate of the place.

A gym freaks paradise:

Its evident in my looks that I’ve never been to the place called gym. Pieces metal work better as car engines and to sweat in Chennai you don’t need a work out just 2 min walk even in the midnight sun will make you sweat. One of the odd things in temples here in God’s own country is that the devotees have to be top-less, now keep that dirty mind of yours silent, the Indian law of equality in sex holds no good here only males are supposed to expose their torso. Any gym freak will feel happy to remove his shirt and I being no Salman Khan or with the kind of hair on my body I was quite in an awkward situation, but with no options other than to comply I took it off and stood with my bear ( NO it ain’t a typo I meant the animal only) chest. Few min into the act I found it was fun, no not the topless part but the kind of beauty what the eyes get to see. But my hands were very busy trying to hold on to my dhoti as it refused to stay around my waist. Another law which anyone has to abide by while entering a temple here. With all the rules to be abided by inside the temple above my head, still it was a wonderful experience, like a travel back in time, people looked more pleasant in traditional wears, more presentable. No weird ringtones to disturb or electronic gizmo to be seen nearby all present was a divinity in the air.

“Krishna”- every girl loves him:

The legend says Lord Krishna was loved by all the girls in his period and I here I stand in a place where I see it happen and I believe it. There were more beautiful girls than men. My eyes started doing a marathon, a marathon to catch as many beautiful girls as it can in a blink. The wet and long hair, the traditional wear, the makeup less beauty, the sandal wood paste on the forehead I was observing them all ignoring my mom who was asking me to stand in a queue to collect some prsadham. Yes girls loved him then, the girls love him even now and in the future too. My heart was whining why si that I have to endure this every time, I get no girls when I travel in a train or no beautiful girl sits near me even if its vacant. All the beautiful girl ends up to be in another compartment or least a few Km away from where I’m placed, why is that lord can’t spare me a few or least one for that matter?

What a hotel- what a mess?

Our tummies were aching for food as we had to skip our breakfast standing in that long queue’s. We stroll down the market road in search of a good hotel as I’m well aware of the kinda food available. I was not that into Mallu style food so this big banner which said “continental, Chinese, tandoori, north and south Indian foods” attracted me what really attracted me is the fact that the word “kerala style food” was not included in it. The hotel was more like deserted IT park in recession with hardly any guests and a reluctant waiter arrived and gave us the shock that nothing other than a meal is available. My growling tummy surrendered and we made a quick nod, we had walked a long way to this hotel and were in no mood to walk back for another with a empty stomach.

Hotels in Chennai or hotels anywhere for that matter server” hot” food (excluding ice cream and food items that are to be served chill) and “cold” water which tastes “good”, but we were witnessing the contrary of it. The water was Luke warm and food was damn cold and the taste far from good. It’s a customary here I believe, the waiter decides when you finish, they are in tight schedule even when the hotels are empty they walk to your table not more than 4 time. Once to take the order , next to serve the third to walk towards you and announce you his decision that you have had enough and the last thing left for you is a tea/ coffee with a bill. He’s least bothered about his tips too cos he knows you are never gonna return to his hotel again and even if you had the guts to come who cares? He would have left the job and be in some middle-eastern country (which is collectively called as Dubai) for some un-named work.

I stepped out of that hotel with a worried tummy and my eyes staring at the pictures displayed in the banner, my mouth can’t stop watering- food for eyes definitely not for stomach.

Beauty her first name:

Though called as “god’s own country”, even god’s had their places and preferred to be there itself, unlike in the neighboring state where the All Mighty can even be found in a mile stone or an a tree preferably in the middle of a highway. The temples are maintained clean and was surprisingly silent during the peak hours too , the loud speakers were used very little to announce lost items/ people in the place and any special ceremony and was not used to wake up the neighborhood or disturb students. Got used to the noise and commotion in my city, the silence here was deafening me.

The houses were too tempting and wood is an integral part in every construction, the sheer plot size would put any city dweller to envy, large enough to accommodate a hundred trees with a river flowing in the rear side of the plot. All we know is ten sq feet of ground we call as our hall and similar sizes we make them as kitchen bedroom and other rooms. For six months we pray for rain standing in unending ques for water, the next six months trying to keep ourselves dry in floods. Never do we think of rainwater harvesting or maintaining the balance of nature. For once I had to break the rule of sticking to the cheapest mode of transport and was travelling in an auto rickshaw enjoying the sights of the Green God around me. The auto rickshaw didn’t shake much, the road was pretty comfortable. Lost in my past something really woke me up. “Her” father too was building a house somewhere in Kerala before we broke up. It must have been completed now and suddenly ever new built house looked like her’s. She would be somewhere, may be here near me. One of the top priority things which I wish to forget only to end up thinking more of it. The most vivid thing what I saw was the girl with those beautiful eyes, she kept starring at me till my auto sailed passed her. The kajal in her eyes still vivid in my memory, wondering what made her look at me. Was I smart enough to impress her or just that something was stuck to my face and I didn’t notice it.

The return:

With few more splendid temples and dumb hours in every mode of transport we reached the station. I came here to repay for my fulfilled prayers but end up returning with more prayers to be fulfilled by him. With the usual swift that comes to anyone who sees the approaching train we too got into our train and the busy day was showing its signs on me I got up only to find myself back in this place where I belong. Happy to be back in Chennai.

Aham Brahmasmi

A God before my birth,
and one after my death.
Between the two;
I'll be the one.
Second to none.

sorry

New posts will come up really soon... srry fr the break

Crayons

Unlike weekdays, the kitchen was making much lower decibels, as the family had planned to spend the rest of the day in outing. Mano was going through the headlines of the paper lazily with the hefty task that was in front of him for the rest of the day. It was not a great weekend as he has to compensate the holiday given for the recent elections by working the next weekend , which means he has to wait for another 13 days for the next Sunday . 

He wanted to enjoy a nice nap in his house or maybe sleep in front of the TV watching the highlights of the matches he missed previously. The pressure cooler whistled loud form the kitchen waking him up from his dream of spending the day in his couch. His wife soon walked out of the kitchen as soon as the pressure cooker stopped shooting she stared to give her list of “things -to-do “ for the day , for a second he thought the cooker’s noise was much sweeter than what he was hearing now.

Least involved in all these was their 6yr old daughter Minu who was lying on the floor scribbling something on a piece of paper. Mano took her in his arms and asked “so what does your list of things for the day” Minu smiled softly “papa I need a pack of crayons”. That was the 5th pack of crayons she had finished off that month. Her mom started to complain about the same and added that her academic performance was also deteriorating and her class teacher has asked to meet her the coming weekend.

Mano’s longest week had stared with a monstrous Monday of getting up late to office, it was a marathon of getting ready for office. He was about to start his scooter when the pressure cooker again whistled, this time she wanted Mano to drop Minu is school on his way to office. With much hesitation he accepted his wife’s words. Minu was in her own world of scribbling something with her crayons when she stopped for min “papa will you buy me a pack of crayons?” He showed all his anger kick starting his bike “what happen to the pack that I bought for you yesterday?” Minu again went back deep into her coloring book with an answer “ its there but I need blue, yellow and black, they got over” Mano was not ready for an argument and he silently raised his accelerator. 

Mano was happy again his 13 day wait had come to an end and it was Saturday evening he can sleep happily as his wife has no plans for that Sunday. Quarrels between the two has become the inevitable and a part of the daily schedule and that evening was no exception only that the intensity was too much. 

There was an uncontrolled emotion of anger in the air, confessions of making the biggest mistake in life of marring the other was the topic of discussion. His anger was so uncontrollable that it made the fish tank fly a few feet and crash. The crashing sound was followed by a few seconds of silence and heavy breathing , for a sec there eyes scrolled around the room and found MInu totally in her own world of scribbling something on a piece of paper. The sight brought a small pause to all there anger Mano walked towards her little girl and took the paper, for the first time they were seeing what her little girl was drawing all these days. It was the same drawing again and again, scribbling in green , blue and black spread allover the paper. They were not able to make out their child behavior. Mano asked minu “minu, dear what are you drawing?, what’s these blue and green circles? Are these trees and mountains?” Minu with her little finger scribbling the same one new sheet of paper answered” no daddy, its you and mom”

“And what's these black lines allover the paper” asked Mano. Minu looked up into her dads eyes saying “ its you and mom fighting” and bend down to continue her work. A chill ran down both the parents spine as the looked at each other, Mano was still in his Blue Boiler suite and his wife green saree which she wears every day for her work.

Enemy

Though we had different names, at this place we both had only one name “enemy”. He is my enemy and I’m to him. We were made enemies by nationality and at this place it was reduced to the difference in the color of our army uniforms.

It’s the fifth day of our captive life in a bunker that lies in NO mans land. We didn’t have many conversations, we both were equally wounded and were not able to move out of the bunker where we were and were waiting for some kind of help. The sounds of guns and grenades has now faded. Which means some one will come to rescue one among us and the other will be a captive for the rest of his life.

Prayers were running high in both our hearts and even the sound of crickets at nights gave us an illusion of someone walking towards us. And the time came at last, we were hearing some foot steps for sure, I gathered guts and peeped out of the bunker and sat back inside the bunker with a smile of relief .My enemies face turned pale and I was able to understand his thoughts and fear. He took out his knife plead to me “please Kill me” I took the knife from his hand and My hands trembled for the first time killing an enemy. 

Keep searching BUt never find It

I’m used to this cold climate now , I don’t miss the hot summers of Chennai anymore, Living in this part of the globe I have gone round the sun eight times now. Eight years of occasional phone calls from my parents asking me to return home soon and though they know I wont come back that place. Very few things put smile back on my face that includes call from my best pal and other friends who wants a free stay in my place when they land here as accommodation is still a costly affair here in Switzerland.
 
It was a sudden but firm decision, I never had to repent for it or never will I. It still feels like yesterday, she saying “Bye Mano this will be our final meeting my dad has found me a person who earns more than you and this will be our last meeting” and for the next few months tears were my best friend. It still feels like yesterday, the day I woke up deciding I need to break away from my past, the past filled with her memories a past haunting my future. I packed up my bag and landed in this place truly this is paradise on earth. Eight years have gone and my life in exile is going good , learned a few languages made new friends and I was careful with love this time though there was nothing left to break inside me. I lost contact with the world , the world that was around me when I was in Chennai , my friends, my family my everything now it feels like they too have thrown me out of their world. To speak the truth I was running away from the truth, the truth which I will never be able to take , something which I cant even dream / think of , she marrying someone else. So I sealed off myself from the truth packed my bags and came to this paradise. I have made this imaginary world of mine so strong that no news from my old world can leak into this place neither my existence is known to them.

The morning was cold as usual, I can hear the streams and the birds actively doing there work , I have never seen the sun active here unlike Chennai where he wont mind to do a little Over time and make everyone do weird rituals to bring rain in time. “Bonjour” I knew that was my neighbor, a Fat short English Gentleman with his Funny “French” accent has never failed to put a smile on my face every time I hear him. I tried to teach him my language but only to find I still loved my language a lot and cant stand it being getting damaged by my neighbor. I wished him good morning and continued my walk.


The snow clad mountains still amuse me a lot but still there was a vacant place in my heart that wanted to dip its feet in the waves of the worlds 2nd longest beach. How the heart works? Leave others heart, how MY heart works? I don’t know. Sometimes it searches for things it wants to forget, it cries to have things which doesn’t belong to it , trying to catch it hard knowing it’s a dream. My heart at times has pushed me to an extent of making me type “ Where is my girlfriend” “where are you my dear” in Google and click the search icon, showing me 1000’s of unwanted pages. Well I don’t blame Google (neither can I blame them for the stupidity that’s inside me making me do this) But thanks to HER , though she’s gone long back think I still have a lot of Her left it me.

This is the first party I’m attending in this place. My neighbor has insisted me so much that I wad to move out of my house that evening . I was greeted by many warm little electric lamps flickering as if they too are fed up of the cold weather. The main hall was filled with people which made the place little more warmer. I was able to hear all the four national languages of the county at the same place but I look only interest in French and dint understand what the others spoke of. I took my glass of rum and went around the place and my hosts Funny French accent was making me smile where I was in the house. Think I was too much addicted to my solitude that I soon found a place away from the crowd. My eyes soon caught an young couple walking towards me , they both soon crossed me and went next to the window. There was no doubt that they were in love and the guy looked pretty depressed and the girl quickly jumped into action she smooched him for the next two min and made a smile grow in his sad face. I smiled at myself something inside me woke up again , yes it is my heart it wanted HER , here, next to me just like those young couple hugging each other consoling each other, being there for each other. I too wanted a smile to grow in my face , but soon reality woke me up and reminded me that SHE is gone , gone to make someone happy the same way I saw. Tears roll down my cheeks and I walked out of the place.

My heart was searching for HER again. Now it understood clearly how my heart works , I see two halves of it one which wants to run away from reality and the other which wants to be there in the same. Its an unending Indo-Pak war between the two and I had to do something were both are in control, I had to say to myself “ I’ll keep searching for HER but never find HER ever cos I cant stand the truth”

Let my dad DRINK

Every time my dad walks into the house my mom starts to shout at him, I found no wrong with my mom may be she is right, dad used to drink daily and that was the source of all the quarrels between them. 

Though dad used to keep quiet most of the time he too looses temper at times and his argument was mom never maintains the house neat. Yes he was right I find it dirty all the time, things scattered everywhere .It looked like jumbled words of the worse kind how much ever I used to try to put things in its place soon it was scattered .Mom keeps crying all day scolding dad “ That’s it I had enough , today I will teach him a lesson if he is gonna enter the house again drunk I’m gonna kill myself and write a letter against him” words that used to scare me a lot . Though the day never came , both of them lived quarrelling throughout their lives , but it left a deep impact in my life.


Times changed and I was in college and when people forced me for a drink my mom’s tears came in front of me I didn’t want that so I say a humble no to all around me. Even my farewell party was a non alcoholic one except I had a great time with my girl friend still can’t forget that night.

They say Time and tide wait for none , think it should have been this way “ time , tide and girls wait for none” . She was not in a mood to wait for me a couple of years more I would have been what she wanted both in society and in bank balance , but as I said she didn’t want to wait for me. I had to see her depart happily with someone who met her recommendations.

Two years had passed , and it was my time I should say , I too met some girls specifications and now I have a family. A home where Im expected to start from every morning and have to give a hourly update about my whereabouts and most importantly have to keep on basic rule in mind. “ the doors will be shut sharp at 10 every night”. Mostly it was a race against time both in the morning and in the night a small lie will satisfy my boss but not my wife have to face a detailed enquiry every time I reach after the clock strikes 10. 

I was getting locked in a clock , I needed someone who could give me company without a question I was carving for that person by my side everyday. Soon I met him, that wonderful I should say stared off with a very bad incident of me meeting my ex-girl friend , I don’t know what she means to me now and what was between us now but truly it did hurt a lot . my friend was able to understand that I was going through inside and pulled my had “ come I’ll take you to a place im sure you will like it” .

We entered a bar , this time I was in no mood to listen to the words from my inner soul. I drank a lot I started to like this new friend he gives me company everyday no questions he asks me , he gives me a good sleep im not worried about the clock now. Quarrel between me and my wife became a usual event , and I was able to see my house not kept neat. I don’t know what she will be doing in home now , may be she is praying to god I should stop drinking , but I don’t want God to change her and make her a better wife cos im enjoying every moment with my friend.


Last day I entered my home heavily drink as usual she started weeping and I kept my cool and headed straight into our bed room. My little son came slowly to me and held my hands in his small palm his eyes were filled with tears when he said” daddy why do you drink everyday? Mummy is crying daily cant u stop drinking?” It reminded me of my childhood , same questions what I asked my dad once for which I never got an answer, but for which I know the answer now I took my son in my arms and said “ I don’t have an answer with me dear son, but soon you will understand yourself” and put him to bed.

For a sec I saw my dad before me all the while I used to scold him within me for behaving very badly everyday with mom and me. Now I can see it , though I don’t know what problems he had? how lonely he must have felt ? he too needed a friend and found the same wat I found. 

“let my dad Drink”

  

Keep smiling !

Flocks of birds were on their way back, soon I will not be able to see myself as the clock struck 6 and it was getting dark. The loud speakers of the near by mosque chanted “Allah”. This is the place were I end up whenever there was a quarrel between my parents, when my parents shout at me, when I had an argument with my sister when my girl friend said “bye” , My terrace the place I end up after any unfortunate thing that strikes me.

I loved this place though there was no nice nature that surrounded my house I still liked it, except for a suspicious stares from the neighboring terrace. It was a great day as everything worse happened together my parents & my sister as usual made me climb up the steps with there uncontrollable temper, my mobile beeped and added more to the fire “ Don’t ever talk to me again, Im leaving you” read the message from my girlfriend. I didn’t notice what was happening around me for the next 3 hours and it was the evening prayers from the mosque made me realize where I was.

I made a call to my friend and forced him to come for a smoke with me. As I turned around to get down from my favorite place a piece of paper rub passed me and landed near me, and I looked at the direction from where it came. I saw the girl next door standing smiling at me, dressed in her school uniform her eyes had a mix of fear and excitement, and her eyes were clearly saying a message to me, she rolled her eyes signaling me to pick up the paper she had just thrown. I stood there in disbelief , my brain started to workout all possible things that could be in the paper “ another love letter! Oh please I had enough with you girls, and I don’t want to cry anymore”. It was clear that my mind was making the decisions now; my broken heart was not in a position to say anything.

She stood there for few more sec and her anxious left hand was flipping in and out her bangles on her right hand. And as her mother called her name she ran down with her eyes fixed on me till the moment she disappeared. I was in no mood to check what was on that paper all I wanted was to reach the near by tea shop for my friend.

Two days passed and I was there in my favorite place and this time I saw her reach her terrace with depressed eyes , the fault was mine the paper still lies on the floor and the rain a day before has made the condition of the paper even more worse, she pulled few leaves of the near by tree and ran down the steps as she was not able to control her tears. Her tears made my broken heart throb for a sec I picked up the paper for the wet concrete surface .I expected nothing new in it may be a few lines to express what she felt for me , on 2nd thought I could be wrong there can be something else too. So I opened the letter, “ Don’t worry , things will be ok soon , Keep smiling” said the letter and had a big smiley drawn below that.I really don’t know what she wanted to say to me and what she felt for me all I know was that I had hurt a heart like someone has done to me. I never saw that girl after that.

Lonely NO More

There are times in life when you are away from your family, your home town , your friends and without any friends in the place where you are. Times when you really need someone to share your happiness, your sadness and most importantly your loneliness. And I found myself caught in one such situation, it’s been 5 months someone close to me called me and felt I was in no man’s land. Standing on a beautiful road that cuts through a massive lake I tried calling my friends my family but only to find everyone was busy with some work and wanted to cut short the conversation.

I scrolled through my mobile to find anyone who will talk to me but in vain. Unable to take the loneliness I ended up throwing my mobile into the lake. An old man was watching me do all these things and walked towards me with a smile saying “I see myself in you now, too was left alone like this and then I found this and I forgot everything think you need this more than me now so take it and I’m sure you wont require that thing ever what you threw away now” and gave me the fishing rod what he was carrying to me.

I sat on the banks and as time passed by I understood that there is a friend who is always there ready to talk to us NATURE. She was talking to me with her small ripples on the water, laughing to my jokes when the birds chipped, send a cool breeze when I was sweating, send a cloud to block the hot sun. It’s been threes years now and I’m thankful to that unknown old man and he was right I will never need that thing what I threw again in my life.

Its My life .......

I starred at the 10 Lakh rupees on my table, my client with a thankful smile on his face offered me the cash for saving him from a case. The pinch in my heart was too much to bear for i had to send an innocent behind bars to save my client and i dindt know how to accept the money , the innocent's wife's cry is still in my ears. my mobile strated to ring and it was an sms from my wife " hi dear i have selected the red car as my b-day gift and i will be waiting there in the showroom for the cash, hope you are sending it soon.. bye "

My heart became silent, i took the cash with a broad smile and asked him to visit me whenever he is in trouble legally.

INDIA 2020!

" India in 2020?......!what more can i expect?... more polluted by more politicians, thats all" saying this the young chap walked away from the reporter.It was a hard day for the reporter,most of the people he had interviewed walked away with such anger.with a long face the reporter looked around and found a small boy sitting on a bench playing with a dry leaf.he started to walk towards him.

"hi son, what do you expect from India and yourself in the year 2020?" asked the reporter with his eyes rolling allaround the park to find a person to answer the same question next. THe kid jumped out of the bench saying " INdia will be more powerfull and peaceful in 2020, and for me i will be happyily living with  a new dad and mom ".

Before the reporter could ask anything the kid ran accross the road and entered his Orphanage where he livied.The reporter stood there smiling, the kid has answered everything without saying a word.

I want to Be Alone

I saw a tall lean youngster enter my place. I was wondering what he is up to as it was around 1 O clock and he looked pretty dull. He pulled out a grils pic from his pocket and cried over it and i didnt want any furter investigation why he has come to my place. He pulled out a bottle of poison from his pocket opened it. And thats when i made him feel my presence there , i made the trees shake and few horrible noises nad showded my face to him for a sec . He threw the bottle and started running shouting " ghost.... ghost" Silence crept back into my place, i didnt do it to save a guys life or to earn a " good ghost name" I just dont want a competitor in my place.

The resolution

HIs face was hard to forget, it kept falshing in my maind every sec. The clock struck 2and i was not able to find any effect of the sleepin pills i had . I knew him well, he was a blind beggar by the main road a rather calm person.He is no more now , gone in an accident. It hurt me a lot.Thats wen i decided not to drink and drive anymore. I got up from my bed and hurried to clean the blood stains in my car before the sun rises and some one sees it.